I hate that you have acne sometimes.
I hate that you gain weight in parts where I don't want it.
I hate that you hurt sometimes and don't work the way I command you to and interfere with my life.
I hate that you are hairy.
I hate that you force me into doing things I do not enjoy.
I hate some of your scars.
I hate that some parts of you fold and wrinkle in strange ways.
I hate that you don't fit into some clothes.
I love that you find ways to keep me healthy.
I love that you make me feel sexy sometimes.
I love that you show me my limits and protect me.
I love that you tell a history and remind me of my past.
I love that you carry me to the most wonderful places.
I love that you are stronger than I reckon most of the time.
I love that you remind me about the really important things in life on a regular basis.
I love that you surprise me.
I love that you are unique in your own way.
I hate that I don't listen to you most of the time.
I hate that I have to inspect you every time I pass a mirror.
I hate that I can never satisfied with you.
I hate that I compare you to other bodies.
I hate that I talk bad about you every day.
I hate that I let you suffer sometimes as well.
I hate that I am not taking proper care for you sometimes.
But after all I love that you allow me to feel pain.
And I love that you give me the opportunity to look at my weird flaws like redness, wrinkles or scars.
Most of all need I say that am I proud of you and love you for existing for me even though I do not treat you that way sometimes. And I miss the times when we weren't separated by thoughts and you and me felt like one...
I once had all of these hateful thoughts stuck in my brain and felt like writing it down. It then took me a long time to write these loving points down and come up with what I actually like about my body. I wanted to share these things with you to make you think about your body and your relationship with it or so that you maybe feel like you can relate with what I am feeling and not feel alone anymore. Try being more appreciative with what your body allows you to do and do not limit your thoughts to what seems to be or go wrong. Work on your relationship with your body every day and try finding peace instead of fighting this huge part of yourself.
This recipe is all about seasonal and regional ingredients. Besides the fact that a sunny Saturday morning in Spring couldn’t possibly be more relaxed and well spent better than on a stroll through the farmers market, I prefer buying seasonal and regional for several reasons.
Bread and butter. Even as a small child I loved the simplest dish I can think of, fresh bread with butter. Well, nowadays I make homemade bread and only use plant based butter, but the taste of this classic meal is just incomparable.
400ml lukewarm water
1 package dry yeast
180g spelled flour
330g wheat flour
dried thyme and dill
mix the water with the yeast and let it rest for about 7 minutes
meanwhile combine all of the dry ingredients and season it with approximately 1 tbsp of each herb and 3 tsp of salt
add the water and work the dough with your kitchen aid or your hands (even though I own a pretty cool kitchen machine I prefer to work it with my hands until I reach a thick ball of bread dough)
cover the pot with cling film
let the dough rest in the warmest room of your flat for 2 hours minimum
shift the risen dough into a baking pan of choice
cover the top with a little bit of olive oil and add cuttings to the top of the dough
bake the bread for about 35 minutes with 180-200 degrees (until it has reached a thick light brown crust)
Many people, more than you would think or know about, have the burden or the lifelong mission to fight a certain disease without the public recognizing. Sometimes reading of the experience from others is a way to identify and see that other people are experiencing similar struggles in their daily life without us even knowing. This is why I choose to share a few of my thoughts and experiences. I feel like the pandemic, we experienced in the last few months, made health a topic that isn’t that inexpressible anymore and urged a lot of people to think about the physical health of the public, our loved ones and of ourselves. Which is another reason why I decided to share a blog post on physical health from my current state of mind.
Some days people fighting a disease like cancer or who are living with chronicle sicknesses don’t even think of their problems every day and it feels just like living a normal life, despite taking a daily medicine or having a few more doctors appointments. But there are also days, when people experiencing an illness feel like giving up, as if they were defective in a way and are searching for any reason why such a thing would happen to them in particular. It can be consuming, searching for a reason, pondering about how to live happily after all and having a feeling of even being a burden for others. Mostly these very thought influence one mentally in a bad way while it is also physically difficult to handle for the person concerned. It is especially difficult to manage one’s own thoughts when experiencing setbacks in one’s health or when feeling weak and exhausted because of medications or when one’s physical appearance alternates due to certain side effects of new medications. Just to mention a few things some people are going through without you even knowing.
For me personally the thought that everything happens for a reason helps accepting certain things. Believing that my path is made for me specifically and nothing would cross my way if something like destiny wouldn’t think of me as strong enough to deal with it, empowers me. Still there are days I am wondering as well if I really can tackle certain problems and have the strength. Although for a lot of people, this may sound very spiritual, I reckon that there are a lot of different ways to deal with experiencing health issues and every concerned person needs to find its own way of dealing with its disease. Please keep in mind that this only is my personal approach I am sharing.
The main factors of handling a chronicle disease or something like cancer or leukemia is one’s surrounding and the strength and attitude towards life. It is easier to find purpose in living and to not focus too much on one’s sickness and how life would end if the people surrounding you treat you not any different or weak but are still there for you when you are struggling to cope physically or mentally.
I prepared a few things I consider important to know when being confronted with for example a chronically ill person:
ask the person something personal when sharing their diagnoses -e.g „How are you feeling right now concerning this certain disease?“
don’t doubt what they are sharing with you -e.g. „And the doctors are really sure about that?“ or avoid saying something like „I can’t believe that young people also can experience such a thing!“
show interest in their specific case instead of asking general question -e.g. „How has your life been different since the diagnosis?
offer your help -e.g. „If you need to talk or someone to pick you up after a doctors appointment, I’d be happy to help you out!“
ask a person directly about their well-being instead of addressing others (life partner for instance) in your surroundings -e.g. Avoid this: „Isn’t that pretty difficult having such a disease? (directed at another person but the actually ill one)“ And try saying this instead to the affected person: „I am sure this must have been hard on you.“
ask if the person is willing to share a few things and if it’s okay to be curious -e.g. „Is it fine with you to talk about it right now? I am not that familiar with this certain disease.“
Feel free to share personal experiences of yours in the comments or start a conversation with me via the message device in the contact section of the blog as I want this blog to be a space of understanding and personal growth.
During the cold season, especially with a global pandemic still happening, a delicious boost for our immune system is exactly what we need. This recipe contains ingredients that ar anti-inflammatory and provide your body with vitamin c.
turmeric (high in vitamin c and anti-inflammatory)
cinnamon (highly anti-inflammatory)
ginger (contains vitamin c as well)
lemon zest (contains vitamin c and is high in antioxidants)
cut 4 streaks of lemon zest (approximately the size 1×3 cm)
chop 1 piece of unpeeled and washed ginger (1,5×1,5 cm)
bring 350 ml of oat milk to boil a little
lower the heat on medium heat
add the ginger and lemon zest
spice it up with 1 tbsp of turmeric, 1 tsp of cinnamon and a splash of vanilla extract
let it boil on low heat for about 10 minutes and stir occasionally
There are those days. Those days when everything just doesn’t feel right or when you just seem to feel nothing at all. I just let it come over me and just lay around doing nothing for a day or two to give my body time to calm down. Let these dark thoughts be and let my limbs feel tired.
But at times when you need to go outside or have to interact with people, on those days it is really easy to be misunderstood and feel overwhelmed. The feeling of projecting my sadness on others makes me feel bad and numb even more. Back when I was in school, I felt awful knowing I had to „perform“ for people in order to not make them feel bad as well. (definitely didn’t work most of the time)
Nowadays, I am really grateful and blessed to just let the days be as they are and that I can take my time to let these feelings come in a safe space at home surrounded by understanding people. I now let the sadness, this heavy feeling of being tired all the time, just come and try accepting these feelings as a part of life sometimes.
Although the tricky part is getting out of this dark place. After one day of just being, I really need to set aspirations for myself, meditate and do something I genuinely enjoy in order to get back to normal. As hard as it sounds, I strongly believe that the only one pulling one out of some kind of depressive episode is oneself, at least this was my experience.
P.S. This is a space, where I share my thoughts and personal experiences. Feel free to comment with your point of view.